Review: North Korea Undercover: Inside the World's Most Secret State

North Korea Undercover: Inside the World's Most Secret State by John Sweeney
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

While North Korea is not a place that lends itself to levity, John Sweeney brings his very British wit to bear on the absurdity that is the Kim dynasty. The book could be seen as a beginner's guide to the country and its history, and paints a picture in broad strokes through Sweeney's first hand experiences and interviews with escaped North Koreans, diplomats, and other political figures.

The book could have used another round of edits, as Sweeney tends to repeat himself, but we can forgive him his tics. He's one of those particularly fearless journalists, inserting himself into all sorts of places he isn't welcome (various dictatorships, the Church of Scientology, etc.). Nonetheless he restrains himself in North Korea, posing as a professor chaperoning a group of students.

Especially interesting are Sweeney remarks on the unreality of the tourist experience. Every visitor is constantly escorted, and their every experience is stage managed. The museums (all, of course, about the Kims) are full of giant Kim statues - Kims Il Sung and Jong Il, that is - but empty of visitors. There are no people with any disabilities. The crowds at the lackluster circus clap in eerie unison. Anyone who dies in a "traffic accident" can be assumed assassinated, since there are barely any vehicles on the road. The only places with reliable electricity are the massive mausoleum with the preserved Kim corpses and the electric fence barring the way to South Korea.

Sweeney offers plenty of further reading on the gulag, though warns the books can be very difficult
to read, and gives a thorough history of the nationwide enslavement Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il have created and upheld through isolation brainwashing. It's just as creepy and horrible as you'd expect, if not more so. I was shocked to learn that institutions like the World Health Organization and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation rely on information provided by the North Korean government to make decisions about relief and healthcare measures. That anyone takes anything on faith from this unhinged despot just floors me - but what else can they go by? What will we see as satellite imagery brings us closer and closer to seeing the world?

The book is simultaneously surreal and chilling, and though it's a few years out of date, the only thing that's changed is the temperature of the rhetoric. Sweeney's take on the possibility of nuclear war? Unlikely. He predicts that Kim Jong Un will continue his brinkmanship without end, primarily to put on a show for fellow North Koreans. But he must know, says Sweeney, that an attack will prompt a counterattack, and he is hopelessly outgunned in any actual conflict. Kim Jong Un will talk, but doesn't want to take a chance on actually losing the power he's grown accustomed to. We must hope he's an evil genius and not a true madman.

If Sweeney's right, we can only hope that the US won't allow itself to be provoked by words. Hardly a comforting thought!


View all my reviews

The Dark Tower (the movie!)

My thoughts on the movie as someone who's read and enjoyed the whole series. Warning: major spoilers galore, for books and movie both! 

The Dark Tower is satisfying, exciting, and deftly adapted. Or, if you haven't already read the 4,250 pages that it skims through, it's "inconsistent, incoherent and often cheesy." (That's the Tribune, but it sums up most of the reviews I've read.) Proceed at your peril.

I've read those pages, and if you've invested that much, I doubt you need me to urge you to see this movie. In for a penny, in for a pound, as far as I'm concerned, and with that attitude I was very entertained.

This is not an adaptation of The Gunslinger (Book 1), but a "sequel" to the whole series, where we pick up a different iteration of Roland's journey. It's radically compressed, and I kept my head above water with the plot only because I knew all the elements already.

Rejiggering everything isn't messing with canon or anything, at least as far as I recall. Book 7 resets back to the beginning, with, essentially, The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed, but, like, kinda slower. So the movie is just another lap around the track in which things happen a lot more quickly.

Twice it veers uncomfortably far into Star Wars territory: the Man in Black chokes people to death with his mind before stalking away - no pinching gesture, at least - and little Jake finds a pile of ashes where his mother should have been. But nobody ever accused Stephen King or George Lucas of being subtle. Is there any better motivation than avenging your mother's murder? (I know, I know, it's Aunt Beru.)

There were also some eye roll moments. When the ground shakes, Roland says, "It's a dreamquake," a word that should never make it past any editor, ever. The NYC graffiti (the secret sign for the interdimensional portal) is neatly tagged in a font straight off a million horror movie posters. And is there only one artist in Hollywood that gets every call for "child draws his nightmares"? If so, can he at least get more than red and black in his palette?

There were great moments too, though. Two Gunslinger trick shots. Some good monsters. Some good fish-out-of-water Roland in New York scenes. Plenty of easter eggs to catch - the Tet Corporation was one of the first title cards at the beginning. As I said, lots of reward.

I'm disappointed we probably won't see a big DT franchise. I was ready for this movie to suck, and I'd still go see them all. And for all we know, maybe they would have really brought the books to life, or they'd cut it down to four movies, or an epic trilogy. The books admittedly had a lot of flab. Instead, the next thing in the pipeline is a Dark Tower TV series that fleshes out the universe surrounding the movie.

The remains of a "Pennywise" theme park also suggest the potential for stitching together a new generation of Stephen King movies (of which I'm sure most will be remakes). Provided the new It does okay at the box office, how long before we see a new Shining miniseries? A new Cujo? (Another) new Carrie? Or, if they have not forgotten the face of their father, a new Maximum Overdrive? Sony doesn't have a cinematic universe right now, unless the throw their weight behind the Emoji Movie.

But back to the point: I left the theatre thoroughly entertained and pleasantly surprised. Being already well versed in the plot, and knowing all the backstories of various characters, I could cheer with every new character I recognized and nod I caught. In a taut 90 minutes, Dark Tower made light fare of heavy books, a true popcorn romp for Constant Reader.

Review: Right Ho, Jeeves

Right Ho, Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

As I've come to expect from Wodehouse, it's chipper and uplifting. There's always a good natured laugh right under the story's surface, and it's a refreshing world to dip into. A breezy read, though I prefer the short story format to a full-length Jeeves and Wooster. In small installments, Jeeves's impeccable social manipulation feels natural. But with a whole novel's worth of acrimony to resolve, his perfect schemes feel a little contrived.
That being said, it's a minor quibble. It's like "rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic", but in a good way. Is there a phrase for that? How about: Fixing your hair in heaven? Picking the frame for the Mona Lisa? Mucking with formatting on an inherently terrific book blog?


View all my reviews

Review: Rubicon: The Last Years of the Roman Republic

Rubicon: The Last Years of the Roman Republic by Tom Holland
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The accomplishment of this book is how Holland reveals simple, human stories in the endless convolutions of family rivalries, power struggles, alliances and betrayals that was the Roman Republic. In this book, you get a sense not just of what these famous names did, but a sense of who they were - their fears, pride, ego, bravery. The figures in this book are not immutable forces of history, and Holland illuminates how their very humanity and imperfections shaped the future of their civilization.

While the subjects are human, the lived experience of this era is difficult to imagine. Commanders rode directly into battle, staring death in the face. Men slaughtered each other in face to face combat, while the god of fear, Timor, always threatened to rule the battlefield. The stories of ancient warfare still inform, and often outshine, the most epic fantasy stories. (The gruesome end of Stephen Erikson's Deadhouse Gates is ripped directly from the Third Servile War in 73 BC. Strangely enough, I happened to read both stories within a week of each other.)

The bloodshed is relentless, and it never ceases. But even as something to dive into for short stints, the stories are incredible, poetic, and tragic.

View all my reviews